Parent Profile

Kendra Hanna-Lloyd - Single, working mama

When I met Kendra at the James Bay Community Project's Baby Group, her son Myles was only 5 weeks old. A few weeks later, she told us that she was about to write her R.N. exam. This test is a marathon for any student, but for a new mama who is breastfeeding her tiny guy, the 8-hour event may seem impossibly daunting. When I asked Kendra about her commitment to her studies and how she was able to continue when she found out that she was pregnant, she said simply that she did not want to abandon a degree that she had invested four years into already. Though she knew that it would be hard to finish classes while 7, 8 and 9 months pregnant, she reasoned that it would be much harder to take a break and then go back to a final set of classes and write her exam with a 1 or 2 year old.
 
Kendra finished the last day of her courses six days before she gave birth - full-time student to full-time mom in a week! Her strong study group and the work they had done long before her exam meant that she had only to review. As for Myles, 1 and 2 months old was the perfect time for him to not have his mama's full attention. Others could care for him, with frequent trips to the breastfeeding mama.
 
After the exam, Kendra felt like she finally had a break and slowed down so that she could adjust to and enjoy motherhood. She had to go back to work when Myles was only 8 months old. She agrees that it was difficult and a challenge, but says that she loves her job. She feels she is using what she had spent the last five years in school striving for. She gets satisfaction and "a feeling of being challenged" at work. She knew that she would be a working mom from the moment she found out that she was pregnant and knew that it would be "inevitable to have to balance him and work. I am very fortunate that I don't have a minimum wage job where it does not matter how hard I work, I don't seem to be getting anywhere or being able to afford and do the things that we want." She is working casual shifts right now, which means that she can work what hours she wants, but she will be working full-time in the fall, as soon as she can secure a full-time position.
 
When I asked her how she is finding being a single mom, she said that it is a challenge but she has a lot of family support. She and Myles live with Kendra's mom, who provides "Nana's Daycare-Preschool" as needed. Kendra says that she always has people she can rely on to help her out, so while she is not in an intimate relationship, she does not feel alone.
 
Myles' dad sees him at least three times a week, usually one overnight and two afternoons. Kendra is happy that her mom gets a break from her Myles duties and is glad that her son is with his dad, where he belongs, but she is often at work during these times so she does not always benefit from a break or (and more likely) time to catch up on grocery shopping by herself or vacuum the house.
 
Her mom is not working right now, so while Kendra brings home the paycheck and her mom does grocery shopping often, it is like a typical, 1950s marriage, only with a mom (who may end up retiring early), daughter and grandson. Nanna takes Myles along with friends for coffee dates, which for grandma-aged, but not-currently-grandma-status women is an extra special and welcome treat.
 
Kendra is currently working at the hospital for 55-65 hours per pay period, usually taking evening shifts from 3-11:00 pm, which makes working overtime easy in terms of being away from her son, though she does not always have enough time to sleep before her 15-month-old boy lets her know that it's time to get up.
 
As for Myles' dad, Kendra sums up her relationship with him as "functional". They were together for a year and a half when Kendra discovered that she was pregnant, and they broke up immediately after; the stress of him not wanting to have a baby was too much. Kendra was adamant that he stay in her life, though, as she was sure that he would come around when the baby was born. It turns out she was right! She says that the animosity that was present early in Myles' life has dissipated. She points out that the priority has shifted from bickering (who has time for that anymore?) to doing what is best for Myles. She says that the relationship is more grown up and is more positive than when she was pregnant.
 
Judging from how determined, strong and resourceful this mama is, I can tell that Myles is going to grow up to be one amazing boy.

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