Finding the Village to Help Raise Your Child

Community Parenting in the modern age

At first glance, the concept and reality of community parenting may seem to be missing from our current and past few generations. Families are spread farther and farther apart geographically, and with the increased use of childcare and day care, it seems that we are more likely to rely on strangers than on those we know to help us raise our children.

Well, I am here to share that the truth of the matter: your village and your support group is all around you. It is the mom down the street who you've know for years, the moms you meet at the weekly drop-in groups that your kids love, and the mom you are in the presence of for only an hour at the library or mall.

A strange thing happens when you become a mother. Once you are over the initial phase of what-the-heck-do-I-do-with-this-person, you become a natural at soothing and mitigating kids and their situations. I was as lost as anyone when Natasha was born (I had only changed one other toddler's diaper and that had been about 15 years before our birth!), but it does not take long to get into the swing of things.

Now, I have picked up virtual strangers when they fall and bonk themselves, stopped the crying and sent them on their way. I have mediated a potential crisis between two stranger's boys at the library with yet another "you guys can share" speech. I soothed a woman's baby to sleep at mom-baby yoga class so that she could try the postures. I have distracted a rambunctious toddler so her mom could listen to the talk that was going on. I have read stories to a 3-year-old boy after he sheepishly, shyly held a book out to me at the library so that his mom could choose books in between running after his 1-year-old-and-walking sister. I have shown up at new-mom or single-mom-for-a-week friend's doors with food and "kidnapped" their child to go to the park or library for an hour.

And I have had others come in and scoop my daughter up and take her away for a few minutes so that I can talk to a friend. One friend even harassed me with phone calls saying that Steve and I had to go out for the evening while she stay with our sleeping Natasha.

The concept of a village raising a child is not dead. It may be hidden, but it is there and it is available to you. Most moms are happy to look after another child for an afternoon, once you ask. It gives the kids a playmate, it makes the day pass faster for her, and it makes her feel comfortable about asking you to return the favour in the future! And if you are still looking for that hidden, elusive community, start to create it yourself. Show up at another mom's house, organize a weeding party for the garden or play dates where a group of kids can entertain each other and mamas can relax, watch and talk. You'll come up with dozens of ideas once you get into the swing of things and you will inspire others to carry on what you have started.

Photo supplied by Fairfiled Photography

Not yet a nouvelle mama?

You bet you are! If you have a child of any age, or are going to be having a child, and are interested in parenting, you already qualify. Now sign up for the newsletter and make it official!

Sign up your friends, too!